Sunday, April 17, 2011

A Time to Celebrate

My Dearest Lilly,

Happy 1st Birthday Baby Girl.  As I sit her pondering what special gift it is I would like to share with you in celebration this year - the gift of my DREAM for you seems appropriate.  When I close my eyes and I imagine your place in this world I see so much hope.  In one short year you have continued to demonstrate your strength of character, temperament, physical strength, natural sense of humor, and your love for life.  You fought so hard to be here and you have not failed to maintain that gusto.  I have no doubt that you will use these attributes in a magnificent and world changing manner.

Love is who you are.  Never be afraid to share your love and love hard.  There are people who do not know how to love, how to embrace and open themselves to vulnerability that is love.  This is okay as I believe it is the responsibility of those who can love to teach others how to love and accept being loved.

Make plenty of mistakes.  I grew up believing that if I made a mistake that meant I was the mistake.  I was a wife and mother before I understand that this belief I carried with me was a myth - an inaccuracy of major proportions.  No one person on this Earth is perfect, we are designed to evolve.  So, do just that - evolve with learning.   If we are capable of accepting our own mistakes then we can accept the mistakes of others with empathy and acceptance.

Aim high and reach for the stars.  There are no limits in this world except the limits we place on ourselves.  Think big, visualize what it is you want, and make it happen.  You do not have to take the traditional path.  My dream for you is to have the bravery to take a chance.... and then to take another chance...and then another chance.  People who are successful in this world are not so without having taken a few chances or having had failed.  So, fail.  Your greatest success could come from your greatest failure.

Family.  The greatest thing I have ever done with my life is be a mother.  I hope that you will one day feel the love for your own son or daughter that I have for all of my children.  I am a blessed woman.

Lilly, I love you with all that is my mind, my heart, my body, and my soul.  I am privileged and proud to call you daughter.


Your Mama 


Sunday, April 10, 2011

Challenging Times

Living life is not easy. STOP!  There is no need to call 911.  If you are anything like me you prefer plans, lists, and routine and are slightly thrown off by chaos.  At the top of my "Most Annoying List" is when my routine is routinely interrupted.  Change is evolutionary and I am open to change.  In fact - I embrace change.  I love change - bring it on.  Have I confused you yet?  How can I love change yet hate to have my routine interrupted?  Well, I have no answer at the present time.  Maybe when I get to the end of my rambling thought I will have it figured out. 

I have been dedicated to training to become a 5K runner.  My first run is May 9th and the second run I have committed to is a week later in Binghampton. My training began January 2, 2011.  I quickly established my routine - 5 times a week with Sundays and Wednesdays off.  Things were going great.  My body was toning, the apple-fritter baby weight was coming off, and my pre-pregger clothes were coming out of the trunk.  Then hits the severe upper respiratory infection and I have not been the same since.  It is amazing how long it takes the body to recover from being sick.  I have not able to return to my training at the same level and have been falling back ever since.

There have been other obstacles as well that have hindered my routine in the gym - children getting sick, emergency room trips, traffic court appearances (not mine!), broken vehicles, work related events....the list goes on and on.  The first thing I tell people who are beginning to establish a gym routine is that your routine must be realistic. Wake up Abby!  Five days per week at the gym is probably not a realistic expectation at this point.  So, the question becomes what is realistic?  The only answer I have right now is more than zero days and less than five days.

I know of no training routine that has not been interrupted - ever.  Life happens. Change is inevitable.  Routines are disrupted.  When this happens, and it will, there are two things that you need to remind yourself.  One, quickly re-establish a new routine. Two, you must make time for yourself.  I know it is difficult, but learn from my mistake- if you do not do #1, you will not have #2. 

Time for yourself is a FUNDAMENTAL NEED in living a healthy lifestyle.  Truthfully, I have not done this in weeks and it is affecting me...and not in a good way.  When we take time for ourselves, which is rare as mothers, we are better mothers.  I firmly believe this. 

Activity Time:  
Answer the following questions:  Have I compromised my commitment to myself and as a result allowed my fitness routine to suffer....OR......Have I compromised my fitness routine and in return allowed my commitment to myself suffer? 

Either way - your commitment to yourself has been compromised.  Get your calendar and pick a day to recommit to yourself.  TODAY would be a great day to chose to start. 
 Question: "How can I love change yet hate to have my routine interrupted?"
 Answer:  Change, with respect for the commitment to self, is part of routine.


Friday, April 1, 2011

I confess, I have Sinned.....

"Forgive me Father, for I have sinned.  It has been  (insert amount of time) since my last confession. ....."  I have not confessed my sins to a priest since the 8th grade.  I know this because St. Mary's only went through the 8th grade.  However, if the concept of getting into heaven were based on food confessions - I would be at the right hand of the Lord for sure.  

Today, I ate a fish fry with french fries and two rolls for lunch.  I am also going out to dinner wherein I will order fresh spring rolls and a Vietnamese Vermicelli Salad with extra dressing.  These two "sins" cannot be erased with three Our Fathers and a Hail Mary - no, they will require a much stronger penance. 
How many times do you confess to yourself, a parent, a spouse, or a girlfriend whatever it is you have eaten in a day because it has evoaked some kind of negative feeling in you that you feel you must seek penance?  Take a notebook and a pen and over the course of a week record how many times you confess to yourself or aloud to someone else.  Warning!  This could be an exhausting exercise. 

It is one thing to be mindful of the food choices that we make.  It is another to consistently feel bad about the choices that are made.  Choosing the "bad" food does not mean we are "bad" people.  This sense of needing to confess what we eat adds a negative emotional dimension about food that can be unhealthy for our minds, our emotions, and our bodies.  Living a healthy life is not living a life of perfection, but instead living a life with mindful awareness. 

"Forgive me Father, for I have sinned.  It has been  five minutes since my last confession, but don't expect another one today!"