Friday, August 17, 2012

Feeding the Soul

While dropping my two beautiful but equally devilish children off at their respective places of play this morning I happened to hear a conversation on the radio about love.  Before you roll your eyes and think this is getting all gushy let me remind you that this is me writing......  So, back to the love.... the woman speaking was sharing with the radio audience that she had recently broken up with a man who told her after approximately 45 days that he did in deed love her. 

My initial thought.... SMART woman.  My next thoughts led me down a road of reflection remembering the first times that Brent and I shared with one another the big "I love you."  I would not categorize our first times as life altering or romantic by any means but would instead describe them as comical, which is not surprising as there is little between Brent and I that is not comical.

Yes, I did refer to our first times in the plural and if you allow me a moment of your time to indulge in the story you might get a chuckle.  The first time I told Brent that I loved him I was on the phone in the living room of our old home (we were not living together yet).   As with all of our previous conversations over the months I had every conscious intention to end the conversation the same way with a simple, "Ok, I'll talk to you late Babe, bye."  But, what flew out of my mouth was an abomination, a slip of the tongue, a hiccup in an otherwise calm water....not even paying a moment's attention to the words I was speaking I said, "Ok, I love you."  HUH?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!  I what?!?!?!?!?!  The next words flying out of my mouth were, "I'm so sorry, I take it back.  Never mind.  Just forget that!" Upon which I abruptly hung the phone up as Brent was giggling.

Epic fail.  Needless to say it was not discussed or brought up as I was thoroughly mortified.  After time had passed Brenton looked at me one morning and said, "I told you something last night."  I looked at him quizzically and asked "when" to which he responded, "When you were sleeping."  This should be good I thought so, I bit the line and asked.  With his head down shaking and looking towards the floor he quietly told me that he loved me.  It sounded like someone was squeezing the air out of him. My response, "Oh and you didn't explode?"  Nope.  He did not explode at all.

I called Brent this morning and we got to giggling together once again over the debacles that were our first "I love you's."  There are times when the ordinary blunder can turn into the extraordinary.  Living a healthy lifestyle must go beyond the body and embed itself into the soul.  All people must feed their soul with the warmth and love of people that respect and support them while helping them grow and move forward.  Who are the people in your life that challenge you to continue to do and be your best, who lift you up when you falter, and remind you that you are amazing when you feel less than?  Equally important are the relationships wherein you too challenge, lift and support others.  These relationships not only feed us but allow us to maintain balance in our lives.....and as a bonus we also get great memories that will stay with us a lifetime.


Tuesday, August 14, 2012

The Fountain of Thin

Let me go on record as saying that losing a crap load of weight is and is not mind boggling.  People have lots of questions about howe to lose weight and I honestly believe they expect me to share an epiphany of answers and I have to tell you - the answers are not all that life GIANT.  At least not to me.  Maybe it is better explained this way...

I began a serious lifestyle of yo-yo dieting after my father passed away in 1996.  I used this method of weight loss and gain as a means to push the severity of the pain way down.  I tried again and again to break the cycle.  I put myself through so many fad diets to help me lose the weight. I would see people having so much success and I wanted that success- what is your seceret I would ask people over and over and over again.  I wanted the secret to losing weight and keeping it off.  I wanted the knoweldge that they had to rub off on me. 

No more questioning - how are people really losing the weight?  Well, a number of them have also had gastric byapss.  Onyl, they have kept quiet about it.  When others have asked how they have lost the weight, they have responded with statements such as, "I workout a lot" or "I don't eat sugar anymore."  I respect everyone's choice, but I believe that there are unintentional consequences that are felt by the people who are still seeking the Fountain of Thin.

So, the big question people have now....

How do I feel?  I don't feel much different than I did before with a couple of exceptions... my knees no longer ache after I run and I can walk down the stairs easier in heels - no more booming clomps.  DO NOT READ ANY FURTHER IF YOU HAVE AN ISSUE WITH POTTY TALK!  I pee differently.  Women pee in packs, this is a given.  When I used to pee I would just sit down and pee - never thought anything of it.  When my skinny g-friends peed they all turned their knees inward and I had no idea why.  I thought maybe they were just hiding their goods or trying to not fall onto the gross bar bathroom floor.....  Now, I know.  Seriously, I know this is weird but continue to go with it.  I have learned that when thin women pee they have to close their knees or the pee streams up and over the toilet.  I did learn this one morning when I sat to pee and found myself with a mess.

Honestly, to tell the truth, it is more of a question about how others feel.  I am who I am whether it be big or small.

Evidence of this honesty-

1.  The dads at daycare keep staring at me, literally following me with their eyes, which is highly annoying but I believe that the fascination will wear off.  Either that or Lilly will grow up and not require daycare any longer.

2.  I am the recipient of unsolicited assistance at stores.

3.  Doors are being held open for me.

4.  People are just genuinely kinder to me demonstrating more patience and compassion. 

So, how do I really feel?  I am living.  For the first time ever I am living my life.  I am living my life not worried about how I look or how others preceive me.  In fact, I am flying to  Las Vegas  and I am going to bungee sling shot off the side of a casino just because I can.  Nothing says freedom like weightlessness 100s of stories off the ground.