Thursday, January 26, 2012

Ok, so I LIED!

Bypass Update #2

Ok, so I lied.  People having a gastric bypass can have caffeine.  They can have the equivalent of one small cup of coffee.  How many people do you know can have only one small cup of coffee?  It's like limiting an alcohol dependent person to only one shot at their favorite bar.  My thinking - a small amount of caffeine is NO caffeine.   

The second nutritional appointment has been completed.  The second nutritional appointment was fruitful (I love a good healthy food reference).  I weighed in on the cattle scale and found that I lost 6 pounds (YEAH ME!).  I also learned that I cannot gain these 6 pounds back.  This knowledge will have a major impact on me later.  In fact, it was a catastrophic emotional consequence that I will share later. Kathy, my nutritionist, was very impressed that with my busy schedule I was able to maintain focus and believes that I will not require additional nutritional counseling after my next appointment which is in less than a week (can you see where the emotional consequences might be coming from yet?)  Did I mention that if I lose another 19 pounds I won't qualify for surgery anymore?  First time for everything....

Christmas and New Year's Oh My!  I made a commitment to going sugar free on December 26th and I did. Even with the sabotaging gifts I received for Christmas (thanks mom and Stever's turkey joints).  Confession - I remained sugar free until Lilly's baptism where I shared some cake.  It was so good too.  I am sugar free again - as of this morning..... it had nothing to do with the chocolate chip cookie, but I won't swear to it.

Catastrophic Emotional Breakdown ensues.....In preparing for my next nutritional appointment I stepped on the scale - not the cattle kind, the normal kind I hide under my bed.  I was ecstatic to see I lost another 3 pounds.  What was there not to be happy about?  I lost 3 pounds, I am still in the window, and Kathy is going to recommend me for surgery.  I picked up the kids, had dinner, bathed kids, put kids to bed, watched some Netflix, went to sleep.  Here it comes... wait for it... I wake up, get on the scale and I have gained ten pounds.  Within 24 hours I am having a major melt down of epic proportions. I couldn't wrap my head around it.  I lost it emotionally.  I felt at my lowest.  I feel like I wear my sin on the outside of my body and that sin is my weight.  I have never felt so low in my life.  I failed. A life of humiliation and physical pain flashed in front of my eyes and it is not the life I want and will no longer live.  WHO THE HELL GAINS TEN POUNS OVERNIGHT?  This is what my nightmares are made of. I waited two days, but I called Kathy.  Kathy informed me it was water weight and not actual weight gain.  She is worried as it could signify a larger issues.  Really?  Isn't that what I have been saying all along? Nonetheless I will be meeting with Kathy next week where we will come up with a plan to address the issue.  The water weight? I had sushi for dinner with soy sauce.  I am charging the soy sauce with criminal intent.  One would think I drank the bottle of soy....which I did not.  I am no longer going to eat soy sauce as it is the new enemy.

I want this surgery.  I need this surgery.  I will live because of this surgery.  Any fears (or doubts) I may have had about having this surgery are gone.  I am committed to this life change.

Motion FREEDOM Evolution

Sunday, January 1, 2012

Fatty Patty

Gastric Bypass Update #1:
1.  The chairs are twice the width of normal chairs - When I try to rest my elbows I end up falling over into the chair.  I feel like a fool each and every time.
2.  The scale holds up to 1200 pounds......  Not that it needs to.
3.  Nutritional counseling is a must - The first nutritional appointment is in a group setting. Many in the group are very confused about what constitutes a serving... and NO it is not a 14" double meat sub from Wegmans.
4.  Psych evaluation is required - I actually passed.
5.  Eat - For 3 months all bypass candidates must eat the way they will be required to eat post surgery.  This includes, but is not limited to, maintaining a low fat, sugar free, caffeine free, fried food free diet.  This was really easy to do except the sugar.  I had to set a date for myself and keep it.  I have been sugar free for 7 days.  I did purchase some sugar free Russell Stover's candies today.  I ate two and savored every last taste of goodness........And then I hid the box.  Out of sight is out of mind.
6.  Smoking is out.
7.  Alcohol does not need to be completely abandoned.  Thank god.

Where I am in the process:  I have completed everything except two nutritional appointments.  Appointment #2 is this coming week and then #3 is in February.  I could be looking at a surgical date as early as March or April.  As far as the risks go - they are extremely minimal and following the nutritional requirements decreases them even more.  So, that is the big scary process to having a gastric bypass.