Am I fat?

First off, are the people on the Biggest Loser becoming more pathetic or is it just me?  "I can't stop throwing up."  "I can't keep water down." Oh boo-freaking-hoo.  I swear one guy is related to Honey-Boo-Boo.  Okay, enough of the Biggest Loser.  Well one last comment - I love when then men cry like babies week one.

Here are my current confessions: 

1.  I love Sunny from Rochester on the Biggest Loser.  I would love for her to read my blog and know that she is strong and can kick her weight in the ass!  I am proud of her for putting herself out there and being an ambassador for children's obesity.

2.  I am no longer being a whinny bitch (see previous blog entry).

3.  I am eating protein like a champ!  My goal is 65 - 100 grams a day.

4.  I am running my ass off at the gym.  I am improving by at least 5% every week and it takes a lot less energy to run at 185 than 340 or 275 or even 200.

5.  I survived the colonoscopy but I am on lots of meds that make me poo because I am literally full of shit.

6.  Did you know that the more you weigh the more gas your car guzzles?  I am saving money at the pump.

7.  My daughter and I can split a Happy Meal.......not that we do..... okay - I generally steal a nugget or the pickle off the cheeseburger and a couple of fries.  It's a long cry from the old order: two double cheeseburger, three 4piece nuggets, and a large fry.....(I am vomiting).

8.  I am down 90 pounds since April, 155 total and have moved from a woman's size 32 to a misses 12.

9.  Writing this blog is becoming harder and harder for me. 

10.  Weighing under 200 pounds is not normal for me.  Hell, even weighing 200 was not normal.

I was asked the other day how much I weigh and I responded by saying, "285 pounds."  The person looked at me like I had ten heads as well as they should have. I have lived all of my adult life as an obese woman and now I am not.  At least I don't think I am.  What is freaking me out is that people are referring to me as skinny.  I know, I know - who finds being called skinny an issue?  We all know that I can define fat.  I am an expert at it.  I have lived it.  But skinny?  I don't know how to define it.  I have not lived it, but am starting to now so I guess I better start adjusting to it. I know, oh poor me....this is what I have been working for. 

I used to have the goal of being on People Magazine and you know what - It is my goal again.  I am going to campaign for it.  There is no reason why a person who has a gastric bypass cannot be on the cover educating others about the procedure and its benefits.  It is not an easy or quick fix.  It is an intervention.  The hard work is in the mind, body, and spirit of the person.  Over 300,000 Americans will die of obesity this year and I will not be one of those people.

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