I Eat Less Than Your Skinny Ass!

Okay, so I shit you not - (nice way to start, right?!?!...must be a good one!  So, keep reading.)  I eat way fewer calorie than my skinny friends.  How do I know?  I watch them eat.  I not only watch them eat, I study what they eat.... each and every bite.  As they sit there and savor their calorie ridden, fat hidden, or carb lovin' meal - I watch in awe, envy, and complete jealousy as they take each and every mouthful of whatever delicatessen they have chosen to place on their plate. 

How do those skinny bitches do it?  Ladies, we have all asked ourselves this question a million times over.  As a collective whole - we spend billions of dollars every year on the diet industry to try and answer this very question.  We all want the secret to a tight ass, firm tits, and a flat stomach......BUT...... what we also really, really, really want to know is how to get the tight ass, firm tits, and flat stomach while still being able to eat the calorie ridden, fat hidden, or carb lovin' meal. 

The truth is - the only thing separating these "haves" from the "have-nots" is body muscle.  It is simple - the more muscle we have the more we can get away with additional calories.  The more fat we have- the less able we are to get away with it.  I am a "have-not".  I cannot get away with eating the additional calories without thinking about the consequences and workout to follow.

Wait.....were you thinking that I was going to give you dieting tips like - when going out to eat you should have half your meal wrapped  immediately so you are not tempted to eat too much?  Hell no, remember - we threw the dieting out the window a few months ago.  Plus, we all know these "tips" by now.  We are happy and reward ourselves when we follow them and we are nasty and chastise ourselves when we don't.  And besides - if you're like me, the leftovers are like money burning a hole in your pocket.  

I have talked a lot about food over the last few months, but changing our food intake is not enough to create the body muscle we need in order to achieve our desired outcome.  Movement is necessary.  Notice, I say movement and not exercise.  I am a firm believer in scaffolding - starting small and progressing forward.  Movement can begin by pledging to not take the "laziator" at work or by walking 20 minutes extra a day while on break.  It is not walking into the gym for the first time and deciding to run a marathon.  So, take a moment and think about how you can increase your movement.  With spring approaching there are endless possibilities. 

Now, I may never get the tight ass, firm tits, or flat stomach - and that is okay.  I still win by moving more and gaining muscle.  And, I promise to all my girlfriends - big and small - I will look at what you are eating and I will compare it against my plate each and everytime.  It is who I am.  So - GET UP & MOVE!!!!